I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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