are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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