she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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