On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
