My liver just broke up with me...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize