He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
