I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
