whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
