I think scott just propositioned me for sex
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i was born a porn star she said
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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