BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
my liver is dry heaving
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
