My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
