I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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