How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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