You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
