i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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