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  • 80 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 13, 09 at 8:05pm

    I know some sober people like that

  • 77 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 14, 09 at 9:47am

    11:37-- he must be crap for you to be reading these at the same time.

  • 77 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 14, 09 at 1:58am

    This could be about me...

  • 81 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 13, 09 at 9:49pm

    That is a great analogy and you're jealous you didn't think of it!

  • 69 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 18, 09 at 12:53am

    I've had one of those night epic.

  • 72 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 14, 09 at 12:30am

    Hi my name is Miguel and I am an illegal immigrant. I will clean your house for 20 pesos an hour. Please consider me, thanks. ~Miguel

  • 71 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 13, 09 at 11:13pm

    These pretzles are making me thirsty

  • 67 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 13, 09 at 8:39pm

    this sounds like that robin williams joke. one of the purposes of alcohol... to make your head into an etch-a-sketch

  • 76 85
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 13, 09 at 11:37pm

    My bf is eating me out as I read these

  • 76 96
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 13, 09 at 8:11pm

    Obviously you don't get it because you either are the etch a sketch girl he's talking about or her Lon lost twin.

  • 72 93
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 13, 09 at 9:44pm

    that is a terrible analogy

  • 69 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 13, 09 at 8:09pm

    you should have fucked her. no regrets

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 14, 09 at 3:17am

    I don't get it, OP. HEY, Miguel! I think I need a bit of sprucing up on MY home. Ohh, but I don't have any money. Do you mind if I pay you in...gum?

  • 72 98
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 13, 09 at 8:10pm

    That analogy could have been phrased better.

  • 64 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 13, 09 at 8:23pm

    the cowboys suck penis