Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
