There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
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You could be covered in excrement of various origins. You could come down with a sudden case of projectile bodily fluid evacuation. You could have been killed by a chunk of blue ice from a passing international flight. I think I'm done for now.
There's a great many things worse than that. Just get married. You'll see soon enough.
You could not have fishnets
How about; "Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever."
Aw, did eighty eight not have a fun Halloween?