bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
