just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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