I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
If I die, sorry about rent.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
