I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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