TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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