He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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