im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
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he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
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it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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