so explain again why im purple
no
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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