You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
