I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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