Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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