you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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