Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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