In the future we'll all be gay
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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