Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My breasts were aching with rage.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize