If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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