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  • Real men don't use shot glasses.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 5:15pm
  • It's way better being a lightweight Less drinks to get you drunk means less money to spend on drinks I hate being a heavyweight...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 5, 10 at 4:10am
  • Yay, this is from Houston bitches!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 30, 09 at 4:50pm
  • Charles Rutherford says: u should put ur paws on my cock slurping my knob

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 4:49pm
  • Rip-off, sorry, not repeat.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 6:02pm
  • today is apparently the day for old, used jokes to make it on tfln. awesome?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 4:54pm
  • In soviet russia, pause slurs you!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 5:34pm
  • It's sad some of you people are so religious with this fucking site you know what the repeats or 'rip offs' are.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 30, 09 at 2:52am
  • Oh God. This sounds like me, I'm such a lightweight...it's pathetic.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 5:35pm
  • Goony goo goo. What the fuck is goony goo goo Gus?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 11:39pm
  • Balls McLongcock says: Real men do shots of everclear

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 5:09pm
  • This one was on here already

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 6:22pm
  • Lol

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 13, 10 at 2:07pm
  • This is a Steven Wright (the guy on the couch) quote from his standup

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 5:16pm
  • Okay Stephen Wright, I can steal jokes too.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 10:41pm
  • "(440): you were so drunk you slurred your pauses" from August.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 5:09pm
  • pussy lightweight or that was 151 consumed..

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 5:04pm
  • This is a repeat of one of the first texts I read here (august).

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 6:01pm
  • STEVEN WRIGHT. YOUTUBE HIM.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 7:20pm
  • To 5:09(3) everclear is the shit

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 30, 09 at 12:38am
  • 4:54 fucking awful, actually.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 5:09pm
  • Oh I get it! It's funny because you can actually slur a pause! He is just exaggerating! -Jeff

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 5:45pm
  • That anonymous guy is right. Steven Wright coined this phrase. Fuck whoever submitted this or the one from before.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 6:02pm