Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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