they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
