why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
