Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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