Welp...herpes.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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