I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Semen is not good for contacts.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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