U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
