I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
