dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
