I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
So squirting runs in the family.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
