i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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