I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
