That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize