In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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