hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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