I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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