do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
