Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
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He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
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I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
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