In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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