My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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