after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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