dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
