Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
