Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
