you guys were way drunker than both of me
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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