and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
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Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
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Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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