tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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