windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
