watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
