So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
