i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
